LSCC ‘s 2024 Cricket Tour (and other bits)
This year’s tour was put back a week due to the Euros and England’s potential date in the final. Consequently, a number of players were unavailable and a much reduced touring party descended in dribs and drabs into Frome over the weekend. The number of golfers was reduced this year with only four, Pete, Reg, Max and Amon playing a round at Orchardleigh Golf Club. Numbers did expand for the evening with 14 of us, in 4 teams, taking part in the annual Witham Friary fund-raising sports quiz in the village hall. London Saints have a very good record in the quiz and again 2 of our 4 teams finished in the top 3 (of 14 teams).
The LSCC team of Andy M, Mike Mc and DT came 3rd overall with the team of Max, his dad Amon and Andrew D winning for the 2nd time in 3 years and LSCC’s 3rd team triumph in 5 years. 
Not only that but Reggie won the Knockout quiz, again LSCC’s 2nd triumph in 3 years. I must point out that whereas the team triumph has a lot to do with knowledge, the individual knockout is predominantly a matter of luck so don’t go thinking that Reggie knows anything about sport!! 
The next morning 6 hardy souls dragged their hangovers to the Bath Skyline parkrun to test out our fitness for the games ahead. Tiny Temper and Rat led the way demonstrating their fitness whilst DT and Pete chose to preserve their legs for the challenges ahead. Sister Stanley brought up the rear of our 5 runners whilst Speedo was volunteering on barcode scanning duties. So onto the cricket and our drive down to play Batcombe CC a few miles away.
Batcombe 263 – 1 (Thomas 1 – 40 – only highlighted as it was the only wicket we took!!)
London Saints 118 -7 (Mr Extras 41, J.Griffiths 23, McIntyre 15)
The weather forecast was awful so Dickie was excused the long drive down from London as the prospect for a full game looked remote. Hearing that we were down to 10, Terry, The Ticket, Trevis kindly volunteered to drive over from Salisbury to play for us and make us 11. It was agreed that Batcombe bat first as they had to prepare the between-innings bar-b-cue and a 30 over game was agreed upon but both teams didn’t expect the game to go the distance.
We wished it hadn’t as although we came off twice, (Batcombe said that they were prepared to write off the wicket which would inevitably be ruined if we played in the rain), we played on in persistent drizzle (sometimes heavier!) making bowling and fielding very unpleasant. It didn’t help that we had a very inexperienced team out. Of the 7 bowlers used, 3 of them were making their first appearance of the season and 2 of the other bowlers had a grand total of 5 overs between them this season! With Dickie understandably not making the journey down, Peter Rattue (Rat), playing cricket for the first time since this fixture 5 years ago, kept wicket and did an admirable job in trying circumstances for 20 overs before handing the gloves over to Mike. Terry was playing his first game since the Windies tour 10 years and Andy (Pandy) Mayhew did his best on one leg. It wasn’t fun and Lana especially struggled in the cold and rain but bravely kept going till the end of the innings when she could pull out in the warm and be replaced by one of the LSCC’s groupies (more later).
Thankfully we agreed on the 50 and retire rule as 3 of their top 5 retired, with another retiring on 25, and the only wicket being their No 3 batsman who was dismissed for 18. What made it more galling was that their opener, and first to reach 50, was supposed to play for us as a guest, as agreed with his team Witham Friary, but Batcombe hijacked the move on the cusp of the deadline day window as they were also short of players!! (obviously having taken advice from Skate Harry and Jim White). Everyone struggled with the wet ball and rain especially those in glasses and it’s fair to say that our heads dropped as we dropped chances and we lost at least 8 balls into the neighbouring fields. I would not be doing my duty if I didn’t highlight the skipper’s own calamitous attempt to catch a skier when he ended up further away from the ball by the time that the ball landed than he would have done if he’d have just stood still !! Attempts to excuse the fact that the ball had snow on it as it had been hit so high and that the skipper is due to have a cataract operation as he is as blind as a bat fell on deaf ears and got no sympathy from his team mates.
The skipper was not alone as our fielding fell to pieces not helped when One Liner dislocated his finger going for a return catch in what was one of the most miserable experiences that most of us had experienced on a cricket field in the constant rain. The skipper had to put up with mini-tantrums from the ‘terrible two’s ‘(teenagers Lana and Ollie) though not sure how you describe a mini tiny temper from a 47-year-old -) -). At least Andy Mayhew found the one tree on the ground that he could shelter from the rain most of the innings (it was nowhere near where he was supposed to be fielding but he stayed relatively dry!!).
Thankfully at the end of 30 overs we could get into the dry and enjoy the between-innings bar-b-cue and as the rain came down heavier it was assumed that that was it for the day and we could all get changed and go to the pub. The rain eased a bit and Batcombe, keen for a victory and knowing that the pitch was already ruined, wanted to play on. The only trouble was that we couldn’t find our opener Tiny Temper as he had retired to Rat’s Campervan for a lemon tea and slice of cake.
With Mike still finishing off his interval snack, Max volunteered to open with his godparent Johnny G and we made a solid start of 30 – 0 off 5 overs, in the course of which John passed his milestone of 2,500 LSCC runs, a great effort from a reliable batter over the years. To stand any chance of victory though we needed John to repeat his record ever LSCC score of 119 but he was 2nd out to leave us on 41-2. To say that our remaining batting line-up was light and inexperienced was the understatement of the year. No 4 was Pete playing his first game of the year, 5 was One Liner batting with a dislocated finger, 6 was Ollie playing his 2nd innings, DT was at 7 facing his 2nd ball in a year, Rat was 8 having only played twice in 10 years (both on the LSCC cricket tour) and Terry was 9 playing his 1st game in 10 years. Lana and Andy M were supposed to be 9 and 10 but both declined to bat due to feeling unwell, being wet or unfit so were replaced last minute by Reg and Where’s Jon who had been drinking all afternoon!!l. Where’s Jon has never batted for us but got on the field 18 years ago on our Sri Lanka tour and Reggie’s last 2 innings, 10 and 13 years ago respectively, both ended in ducks at Lords and in Trinidad. So not surprisingly confidence in reaching 263 was a little low with the average age of our last 5 batsmen being 68!!.
At 69-6 the skipper and Rat decided that we should at least try and get 3 figures and respectability and duly put on 36 runs to see us over that line until Rat got hit on the hand and had to retire hurt. The decision this year to buy a new large first aid bag was very wise as it has been used extensively this season none more so than today tending to One Liner and Rat and other cold sprays on various fielder’s courtesy of Doctor Lana who took on first aid duties in the absence of Ben. Terry replaced Rat and duly scored his first ever LSCC run after being reprieved from being given out LBW the ball before from Trigger Finger Griffiths after the ball had clearly hit his glove and being a foot higher than the stumps!! DT then retired to give the crowd what they wanted – the arrival of Reg and then Where’s Jon for a magical last wicket stand which almost made up for the miserable nature of the game. 
To see two 70 year old’s who had been drinking all afternoon batting together in borrowed gear (and boxer shorts meaning that they had to keep adjusting, or not, their boxes every ball and redress themselves) was a sight to behold and go down in LSCC folklore. How they were not out after batting together for 2 overs which included a suicidal run to get Where’s Jon off the mark for his first ever LSCC run can only be imagined but thankfully Pete and Rat videoed the whole thing for posterity.
We finished on 118 which given the circumstances and the team we had out today was a commendable effort. On a serious note though these tours cannot continue unless we can encourage more of the younger players to come down and stay one night and play both games as we cannot compete against these teams with just the older touring lags with 7 of the team today over 60 years old, all of whom would happily tour and watch the younger players play with a beer in their hand (which was what Reg and Where’s Jon intended to do -) -). Thankfully the team for tomorrow’s game is a lot stronger but we do need to put out stronger teams on both days 
Man of the Match
Very tempted to give it to Mr Extras for top scoring with 46 but it goes to Mike Mc, Tiny Temper, despite his middle aged mini-strop, to hold the innings together, bowl 2 overs with a dodgy shoulder and keep wicket for the final 10 overs after a good all round fielding effort
Champagne Moment
- The Wedding – the match was played in a surreal atmosphere as a large wedding with a carriage and horses etc was held in the same field meaning that the rule of 6 and out on the legside (wedding marque side) was introduced for the safety of the wedding guests (when Batcombe were batting not us). It also meant that all 60 overs were bowled from the same end. It was strange batting whilst the never ending wedding speeches were broadcast over the speakers, especially the long story from the best man telling all and sundry of how he and the groom woke up the night after the stag night wondering whether they had been ‘ bummed ‘ the night before!! – you had to be there – or perhaps not given the story -) -)
- The Young Kid – Johnny G (aka Judas 123, The Wheelie-Bin, Carol etc etc) has a terrible record (not criminal) against young boys and when I told him that Batcombe’s young Under-13 kid was coming onto bowl next over you could see the look of terror in his face. As the balls counted down you could see the anxiety increasing so much so that he got bowled the very last ball before the kid was introduced. Not to worry JG as Hilda Berkeley stepped up to the mark and was promptly bowled by the kid bowling off 19 yards as he is too young (we reckon he was 11 at the most) and too short (we reckon he was 4 foot 6 inches) to bowl off 22 yards. His age and height got younger and shorter as the evening progressed and the beers were consumed -) -)
- The Man with 3 boxes – There have been many champagne moments involving boxes but mainly due to the lack of wearing one! Where’s Jon’s tale of 3 boxes will go down in LSCC folklore. To be fair to Jon he wasn’t expected to play (and hasn’t since once fielding for us in 2006 in Sri Lanka) but needs must and injuries and illness pressed him into action as our No 11 to keep Reg company. Jon made Andy Jones look like Usain Bolt in the time and palava it took him to get ready. Borrowing Lana’s trousers, we insisted on him wearing a box although boxer shorts are not the ideal undergarment for such a purpose. Out he strode only to return quite quickly to say that he had lost it somewhere down his (Lana’s) trousers so he put on another box and strode out again. After 2 balls Jon was clearly in a state of distress after he lost the 2nd box. From the boundary we didn’t really know what was going on and were further confused when after another couple of balls there was more commotion in the middle of the pitch as the match was stopped and Jon undressed again as another box was inserted down his (Lana’s) trousers. Jon’s 1st box had fallen down his right trouser leg and had settled where his trousers met his pad (so a kneecap protector). His 2nd box had done the same but settled down his left trouser leg next to his pad (so he now had 2 knee protectors). Luckily Jon has some initiative and spotted another (3rd) box on the ground and decided to put it down his trousers. Trouble was that it was Reggie’s box which had fallen out during the aforementioned suicidal ‘slow‘ single as Reggie didn’t have trousers and was wearing shorts. So for the last over we had ‘3 box’ Jon batting with ‘No box’ Reg – you couldn’t make it up.!!
3 potential winners but it has to be the all-time classic of 3 box Jon.
Batcombe
Chris retired 51
Keinan (our ringer) retired 52
Ben ct McIntyre b Thomas 18
Covis retired 25
Matt retired 53
Pete not out 13
Sis not out 7
Extras 46
Total 263 – 1
D. Nanton 6 – 0 – 54 – 0
O. Griffiths 6 – 0 – 43 – 0
M. McIntyre 2 – 0 – 16 – 0
M. Cohen 6 – 0 – 46 – 0
P. Berkeley 3 – 0 – 30 – 0
D. Thomas 6 – 0 – 40 – 1
J. Griffiths 1 – 0 – 15 – 0
London Saints
Cohen lbw b Fred 13
J. Griffiths b Fred 23
McIntyre b Filbert 15
Berkeley b Sis 2
Nanton ct / b Filbert 2
O.Griffiths ct ? b Filbert 0
Rattue retired 8
Thomas retired 12
Trevis lbw (Trigger finger Griffiths) 1
Reg not out 0
Where’s Jon not out 1
Extras 41
Total 118 – 7
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