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Tuesday, July 15, 2008
In the fifth of our LSSC cricket club profiles, big Trevor Mayhew steps up to the crease
Profile No1: Gary "Speedtwin" Jones
Profile No2 : Paul Pearce
Profile No3: James Whitworth
Profile No4: Johnny Quinn
Name : Trevor Mayhew
Nickname : none to my knowledge, which is a pitiful state of affairs
Date of Birth : 7/9/67
Place of Birth : Gillingham, Kent
LSCC Debut : 08 / 06 / 91 v London Blackpool, Town Park, Enfield
Squad No : 90
Best Batting : 104 v Norton St Philip, Norton St Philip CC (A), 24 / 07 / 99
Best Bowling : N / A
Football Team(s) Supported : Chelsea
Cricket Team(s) Supported : Kent (reigning 20/20 champs)
Favourite Food : a good roast - probably lamb
Favourite Drink : Pint of Lager - ideally Carling extra cold - I am a man of highly sophisticated tastes
Favourite Film / TV etc : Favourite film would be The Godfather; favourite TV would be one of a number of classic sitcoms : Only Fools and Horses, The Office, Royle Family
Favourite Band / Singer : not that much into music, at the moment Coldplay; but over the past 30 years would have to say the influence of Paul Weller.
Best Country Visited : Australia - the outdoor lifestyle there is excellent; lots of space and lots of beach. Clearly any country that can attract the combined cricketing talents of Rob Mauger, Trevor Clarke, and Freddie must have plenty going for it.
Best Sporting Moment : being at the Oval on the last day of the Ashes series when KP scored his 158; even better because I spent the day sat next to a gobby Aussie, who had started to give it some during the lunch break. The little session when he took on first Lee and then Tate after lunch was fantastic.
Best Individual LSSC Sporting Moment : We had a series of remarkably close games against Gents, probably 10 + years ago, but I particularly remember one game where we needed 2 to win off the last ball, with our last wicket pair, and Gary Burrell facing : somehow Gary managed to get back for a second off a ball that could not have gone more than 15 yards. I also remember a game when we beat West Eleven by 10 wickets, probably 15 years ago now - not only was it a very good victory against a side that normally beat us, but at that time (very different to the current West Eleven side) they had a few very arrogant players (Charles sticks vividly in the memory) who absolutely hated the fact we were beating them and gave it a lot of verbal.
Worst Sporting Moment : the first FA Cup Final I ever went to was against Man U, and they beat us 4-0 ; which in itself was bad enough, but it was pissing down with rain and despite the fact I was in the stand I was right underneath a big leak and got soaked.
Worst LSSC Sporting Moment : it's hard to have a bad LSSC sporting moment, as it tends to be a no lose scenario : if you do badly all that happens is that you become the butt of everyones jokes for the night - which is fair enough. I played for a team for a couple of seasons who if you dropped a catch would not talk to you for the rest of the day, and would remember it for the rest of the season : if we adopted that policy, it would be very quiet.
I remember driving all the way down to Norton St Phillip on the Saturday morning, having a terrible journey (though nothing to compare to this year) and rushing straight from car, to changing room, to the wicket - only to be bowled second ball for a duck.
( Apart from Family ) - Person you would most like to be marooned on an island with : one of the guys off the telly who has excellent survival skills, as frankly I would be useless otherwise. Obviously, if there is ever a fit female survival expert with a massive sexual appetite for blokes with spiky greying hair and a pot belly, then she would be my choice (assuming that I know for certain I will never have the chance to return home to my gorgeous and beautiful wife [just in case she happens to go to the London Saints website and flick through the player profiles - unlikely I agree, but best to cover all bases]).
Person you would least like to be marooned on an island with : Gary Cronin - moaning by name, moaning by nature. I like Gary, but being stuck with just him on a marooned island would be murderous.
If you were an animal what would be : DT, you've got this Q from some sad course you attended, and I can not be arsed to answer
If you weren't a famous LSSC Cricketer what would you be : I know it's a cliché, but I fear I would have fallen in with a bad lot, and be spending most of my time in Wormwood Scrubs. Once you are a famous LSSC player, and used to all the attention in the streets, it is hard to imagine any other life - presumably this explains why the majority of our team are old tossers who should have retired 15 years ago, but I unable to cope without the adrenalin rush of LSSC.
Best Champagne Moment Witnessed - Freddie being carried around the pitch on a chair , akin to Queen Victoria in a sedan, following his infamous hamstring injury a couple of seasons ago vs Derby
Best Cricket Tea Eaten - Witham Friary without a doubt
Worst ever London Saints 4 * 400M Relay Squad - This is a very tricky one, as LSSC does attract an amazingly disproportionate number of slow runners. To get off to a good start I would send Jim off on the opening leg - a man whose running style has often reminded me of a very slow cross country skier. The remainder of my team would be decided not purely for their slowness, as we do have even slower runners , but for their added entertainment value. Jim would hand onto Neil , Neil's value is that I have never seen anyone who tries so hard yet runs so slow - his knees are pumping away like pistons, but for some very weird reason he still manages to move extremely slowly. For aesthetic purposes I would ask Neil to hand over to Lord Lucan - watching his Lordship run is a thing of great beauty, never showing any signs of being in any hurry, never with a hair minutely out of place, he elegantly glides after the ball (I have also included Steve, because 15+ years ago Dave for some reason had him fielding in the covers on the side with a long boundary - the ball was hit past him with enough pace to go a long way but not so hard that you could just give it up and amble after the ball, a fielders nightmare. 5 seconds after the ball had passed him, Stevie K used all his experience and made a token dive to look as if he was trying to stop the ball - whether this really happened or not, but my recollection is that just before he dived he looked at me, smirked and gave a cheeky wink. Normally I would admire such wisdom but not on this occasion , as I was the poor mug who had to chase it all the way whilst Steve slowly picked himself up from the floor - what made it worse, the Skipper yelled across 'great effort Stevie', as I made my way back into position puffing and gasping). On the anchor leg, for a combination of his slowness, his ability to gravitate to slip at the drop of a hat, but mainly because he would go an interesting shade of scarlet - Mr Paulie Pearce.
Who, in our opponents, is your nemesis - As my record versus Langtons (the team of my youth, and for whom my dad was Chairman until they folded last year) was appalling, it seems reasonable to name a Langton's bowler - Dave Carley. Big Dave is their tubbyish and slightly unathletic opening bowler (this may seem rude about an opposing player , but I've known Dave since I was 5, so hopefully I can get away with it + as he has done a rabbit impression every time I have seen him in the last 20 years, he deserves some stick back) - but though Dave may not look like the textbook opening bowler, he was very good. He would come in off a few paces, and bowl accurate outswingers without much pace - the big advantages Dave had were not only was he very accurate, which would frustrate me, but he had the ability to swing the ball out from middle or middle and leg . So the invariable style of dismissal were a couple of tight Big Dave overs, then he would start one on middle and leg : my eyes would light up, I'ld play across the line and lift my head - all of which I would have got away with, except Dave has swung the ball to off stump : on a good day I would get a leading edge and be caught, on a bad clean bowled.
Not a nemisis as such, but someone I have always found a challenge to bat against is Snarler of Gents. His quick, and accurate, but tends to keep the ball pitched up - he plays in the right spirit, he could pitch halfway down the wicket every delivery, and we would find it very difficult to score off him : but he pitches it up with a bit of swing . On a bad day you can be bowled, LBW, or caught behind; on a good day and with the gods on your side you can occasionally drive him for 4 - but there is one thing for certain, it is rarely, if ever boring. Over the years Snarler has dismissed me cheaply on a number of occasions, but I have taken him for runs a couple of times, and that has always been very satisfying.
Most Memorable Cricket Ball witnessed - DT versus Norton St Phillips the year the weather was atrocious - the sky was black and it was pissing down; but we were in an unassailable position : one ball to go, the oppo needed 8 to win , and our skipper (the greatest all time LS bowler and a man of great experience) had the ball in his hand. I remembering thinking there was no player I would rather have bowling, the only worry was the then traditional no ball from overstepping the line - but DT used all his experience, and kept his foot well behind the line ; unfortunately he bowled a head high beamer which was hit for four and called no ball. DT's explanation was that the ball slipped - as if the ball had suddenly, and unexpectantly, just got wet from a freak shower; instead of being a bar of soap for the past 3 hours. It had a good ending - the rebowled delivery did the trick, and we won. This was the memorable 'cricket is the winner' day.
Who would play you as lead role in the story of your life - As a 40 year portly accountant there would be numerous Hollywood A listers after the job - I think I would just let them fight it out between them.
What keeps you relaxed - Thinking up new categories for future London Saint prediction comps.
A little known fact about yourself - If I had been successful in an interview to be a postman, I would never have worked in the Finance dept at the Royal Free, never met DT, and never got involved with London Saints for nearly 20 years - the Post Office have a lot to answer for.
