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Dot Cotton puts his hand in his pocket for his last match subs, with skipper DT insisting on full payment and Damien Chalmers checking the coins. Below: glum Little John, who sealed the Duck Trophy with an unassailable fifth zero of the season
Monday, August 18, 2008
GENTS OF WEST LONDON 189-8
(Sanjay 28, Nanton 3-18, Loomes 2-30)
LSSC 155-9
(Lui 46, Wath 25)
(H: Old Habs CC, 35 overs, August 17, 2008)
LSSC welcomed the Gents to Old Habs on Sunday seeking to restore pride after a right old tonking in the first rubber earlier this season but sadly fell short with another defeat – albeit one where we can hold our heads up high versus a strong opposition.
The Gents have some new blood this season and their line up now boasts improved batting/fielding and more quality bowling to compliment their stalwarts Sanjay and Snarler.
This game marked some personal landmarks with club stalwart and star opening batsman, Steve ‘Dot’ Cotton making his final appearance for LSSC before joining the ever growing ex-pat LSSC community in Australia.
Another landmark was this game was Lui Patel’s annual cricket match (last seen at Coldharbour 2007). As we know Lui is a quality player and his knock against Walthamstow Horizontals a few years ago was so good they haven’t played us since (I think!). He is also more than welcome to join the Teas Committee as a ‘carrot’ to him playing for us more should he so wish.
Anyhow, DT went out for the toss with Sanjay and duly lost it meaning we were invited to field. We played on the strip used the day before as this showed signs of wear and also because it was nearest to the changing rooms and car park therefore saving us too long a walk…. The other prepared strip being so close to the far boundary and trees that we’d have spent half the match looking for the ball.
The skipper turned to Jonty (aka Dave Nanton) and ‘old reliable’ himself Lord Lucan to open the attack and as one might expect at reading this - one bowler opened with consistent and accurate bowling which was hard to get away whilst the other struggled for his line against the strong breeze blowing across the wicket and was punished heavily for anything overpitched – surprisingly it was his Lordship who was the junior partner and this was perhaps a result of him coming to terms with having not missed a train to the game and his pre-match routine being disrupted therefore.
Gents openers were moving along at FIVE an over as a result and the arrival of DT and Where’s John did little to slow this as first and second change. Where’s John settling in to his bowling rather quicker than the Skip who mixed up some unplayable deliveries when pitching the ball with a fair few full tosses and beamers.
With our normal team cheerleaders Hilda and Judas absent the LSSC fielders and bowlers were strangely subdued at not being castigated for their occasional cock-ups and the only noise to raise the spirits were the great celebrations whenever his Lordship stooped to field the ball with rather more success than the latter part of the game last week.
Drinks were taken with Gents 90-odd without loss after 18 overs. With plenty of batting to come, things looked bad and a right old drubbing seemed on the cards.
Where’s John announced he was totally knackered at this interval but with him bowling well the Skipper kept him going, now with Tony (Clive Dunn) and together they started to apply some pressure until we at last made the breakthrough with a chaotic run out which we nearly cocked up but Damian just managed to convert. For a second the victim (Gent’s keeper) looked like he was preparing to maim his offending batting partner and perhaps this threat was on the guys mind as John then had him out LBW and suddenly there was an atmosphere as LSSC spirits were raised.
One of Gent’s new recruits came in resembling Sangakkara or Tendulkar or Robin Smith (??) depending who you asked. Whatever, he was clearly a good bat and threatened a huge score – however John tempted him in to a top edge and DT took a trademark catch stumbling as he caught the ball at his feet and ending up on his back. This was the start of a gold rush of LSSC outfielding as we fought tooth and nail to stay in the game and keep the score respectable.
Jonty made a diving one-handed stop to save a certain 4 from Sanjay with his Lordship also then making an identical effort on the opposite side of the wicket in the same over – sadly however his movement in ‘super slow-mo’ when compared to Johnty’s ‘real-time’ save meant the ball was long gone by the time he hit the ground. The effort however indicated our fielding commitment. Inspired and clearly competing with Lucan, Jonty then ran out Sanjay with a direct hit with no more than 1½ stumps to aim at and another key wicket was down.
Good catches were then taken by Lui and Dot Cotton, Tony took a good one-handed catch (“See I can catch, but only off my own bowling”) and also a rare slip catch by the Tiger off a quick Nanton delivery meaning Gents were unable to accelerate and a score of 189-8 was a great fightback from where we were at drinks.
Tea was enjoyed as usual with the ornamental fruit display actually visited by local health guru’s Wath and Dot leading the way. However the Skipper came perilously close to a serious injury as the Tiger relived his slip catch by elbowing the skipper as he drank his Tea and him spilling the hot drink all over his lap (a rapid batting demotion was assured).
DT had run over his foot earlier (twice in fact) when moving the sightscreen so clearly he was happy just to make it in one piece to our innings.
Dot Cotton opened with Kumar as we sought to make a fight of it and they resisted an accurate attack of Sanjay (6 overs for 19 runs) and Snarler (7 overs for 11 runs) who bowled as we’ve come to expect meaning runs were hard to get and the run rate started to increase dramatically. Dot was unlucky to be caught on the drive and his final innings for LSSC ended in disappointment with a score of 1 – better than Bradman’s last innings however as was noted in the pavilion.
Tony and Kumar sought to see off the openers only to find Gent’s first change, another new recruit, and who described himself as ‘fast-medium’ was in our relative terms, just plain fast and Tony perished hitting out to his slower ball. Kumar was then out caught on the leg-side boundary picking out the only fielder and things looked a bit rocky at 40-3.
Fortunately now at the crease were Lui and the Wath (a man in form) and a fine partnership started to build with plenty of running and some quality boundaries. The run rate was however nearing 8 an over and the pressure was on. Wath was dropped a couple of times and made a number of efforts to take the Champagne moment as result (see later). The partnership of 64 included Waths’ first ever 6 for the club and an unusual way of getting it was too - comprising of a run 2 and then 4-over throw’s when tempting Gent’s Tendulkar to try and run him out.
Gent’s keeper was desperate for a stumping and took the bails off repeatedly when Wath was facing however it was noted on the boundary that this was a most unlikely tactic to come off as being stumped would entail Wath moving his feet.
Wath was finally out however and with the score now 107-4 it was time for the middle order to hit out, sadly Lui fell for 46 just as the members in the pavilion were preparing to cheer his half-century. Dave Nanton hit a lusty 16 whilst Damian also hit 16 but needed a runner due to his exertions keeping to Dave earlier - with DT next in and padded up, he was therefore delighted to act as Damo’s runner.
DT sympathetic to the last told Damian as he came on to run that he was a fucking poof (the f’ing is disputed by Skip but your reporter thinks it rings true) to which Damian replied by hitting the ball to a distant part of the field such that DT had to do an all run 4!
(Ed's note: The Skipper responds - "Can I point out that I did not use the F word to Judith - I simply told him that he was a poof so I would like that noted in the report - I do not want to be associated with other ' part time skippers or other fielders with Man Boobs who may use such language. Otherwise my lawyers will be in touch)
(Ed's note 2: Damian adds - "I think DT is right. I only remember homophobic abuse rather than any comment on my sexual potency. It reminded me of Phil Tufnell’s autobiography. In his first over of Test cricket, Mark Waugh drove him and he put his ankle to stop the ball, fell over and claimed it was broken. To which Gooch, the England captain, told him, ‘Get up, you cunt’ (no use of the f-word there, either, if my memory is right). It is clear our skip looks to the very best for his motivational skills.)
These exertions didn’t help the Skip when he batted and was promptly skittled for 2 trying to slog Sanjay. The game was up, as is the Duck Trophy competition and Little John made 100% sure when securing his 5th duck of the season, bowled by Snarler.
A score of 155-9 was a very good effort against a challenging Gent’s attack and certainly an improvement on the 40 we made in the reverse match!
Man of the Match - A great knock by Lui and he would have won the award as a bribe for playing more for us but I didn’t think that would work.
Damian kept superbly, throwing himself all over the place, especially in Dave Nanton’s last over when the ‘old’ Dave threatened to re-appear and no byes being recorded for the innings – no small feat.
However, man of the match is Jonty for the 2 best spells of quick fast bowling I’ve seen him do for the club, taking 3 deserved wickets for just 18 runs in 7 overs (most of those runs came in the last over). There was also a direct hit run-out of Sanjay and he scored 16 with the bat before being dispatched LBW.
Champagne Moment – Quite a choice here this week.
Tiger’s slip catch off Jonty was the first taken off a quick bowler in absolutely ages and caused confusion/disbelief to all concerned. This along with his huge shout of ‘Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssss’ meant that initially the team thought he’d been mortally wounded whilst dropping the chance. The batsman also did not move for a minute or two either as he couldn’t believe that he’d been caught or perhaps thinking that he’d just killed somebody.
Lord Lucan also made a late effort by pulling out the first ever £50 note when trying to give DT his subs for the week. Now here is a man to show Britain isn’t quite yet in a full blown recession, two fingers to the credit crunch. Many of the team just wanted to touch this rarely seen piece of paper but DT punished his Lordship by giving him change mainly in 20p’s.
I on reflection now realize this is merely the currency that Steve has been using each week just to cover his Taxi fares after missing the train used by the commoners.
Wath however wins not for his attempted sacrifice of his wicket by chipping it in the air only for the chance to be dropped by short mid-wicket who in doing so, inadvertently kicked the ball towards the stumps nearly running Lui out but a second comedy sequence of events.
Wath chipped a ball in the air again close to the wicket, two fielders converged colliding and dropping the ball, Wath surprised to be given another life is out of his crease and as the ball ricochets back to the stumps following the collision, he just makes it back to his crease to avoid being run-out. However the momentum of this maneuvering has rendered the Wath unstable and he crumbles over backwards ending up flat on his back, missing falling on his stumps by the narrowest of margins. It was a great performance!
SCOREBOARD
GENTS OF WEST LONDON
Denton run out 30
Sciberras lbw Loomes 37
Inhalla ct Thoams b Loomes 24
Gilkes c + b Grimes 8
S.Patel run out 28
Iqbal ct Pearce b Nanton 22
Desai ct L.Patel b Nanton 7
Toft not out 6
Snelling ct Cotton b Nanton 0
Buck not out 2
Extras 25
TOTAL 189-8
Nanton 7 1 18 3
Keenan 5 0 39 0
Thomas 5 0 20 0
Loomes 7 0 30 2
Grimes 6 0 45 1
Pearce 5 0 35 0
LONDON SAINTS
Yogeswaran 18
Cotton 1
Grimes 7
Patel 46
Wathan 23
Chalmers 16
Nanton 16
Thomas 2
Pearce 3 no
Loomes DUCKLING
Keenan 2 no
Wides 6
Leg Byes 7
Byes 8
Total Extras 21
TOTAL 155 - 9
