Printer-friendly pageSunday, September 2, 2007
The London Saints marched in to Kent on their longest winning streak of the year (ok the only one) seeking a 3rd win against our traditional end of season opponents, Ex-Blues.
One win in 18 years of trying did not deter the lads and there was much anticipation pre-game plus the Skipper rousing everyone to raise their efforts in the warm-up by saying ‘the bars open if you want a pint’.
As tradition dictates the toss was lost and we were put in to field which was just as well as star veteran opener, White Viv had called 5 minutes before the 2pm starting time to say he was stuck in Billericay. After allowing for the time he needs to pad up, this meant he couldn’t bat until 5pm.
The sky was grey but for once this season there was no rain just a strong breeze which made it rather nippy but with a left/right pair of openers the frequent field changes created a whirl of action to keep everyone warm. The openers were sons of Ex-blues players and as their Dads before them, they were ready to fill their boots. Tradition is great isn’t it!
Opening spells from Lucan and Hilda would have been very respectable against many batsmen but Hickey and Wirrell punished any ball not perfectly pitched with effortless well-timed boundaries and those which were spot-on were just nudged around for frequent cheeky singles, no matter how many fielders we had on the pitch!
Saints kept their heads up and showed good application in the field with Where’s John using most parts of his body and knee-caps in particular to keep the run-rate down. Clive Dunn was brought on and bowled very well but two in-form batsmen kept the scoring going with barely a chance offered. Rather quickly we found ourselves nearing 130 for 0 at 6 an over so the Skipper in desperation turned to Tiger Pearce to buy a wicket. The Wath was summoned from the square-leg boundary as a ‘specialist’ fielder in the deep mid-on boundary and the trap was set; 3rd ball the batsman duly obliged to a full-toss but our specialist was perhaps unsighted, maybe on his heels or more likely hungover (see batting) or probably all three, decided to let the ball bounce just in front of him, nutmeg it and run for another 4. Eventually this tactic worked (39 off 3 overs however showed the price) Where’s John taking a good catch on the boundary to break the partnership at 176 and a run rate nearing 7 an over.
Where’s John also took an excellent catch at mid-on off Gavin’s head high full toss only to have a no-ball called and as was inevitable when an identical chance came up soon after on a legitimate delivery, this chance wasn’t so well taken.
The skipper came on spying a tiring opener and a new face and promptly skittled the impressive Wirrell and claimed an LBW also. Psycho was brought on and claimed a victim by bowling the batsman, Holden, with his surprise slower ball after being hit for 10 in the first two balls. Holden then proceeded to tell his team-mates it was ‘the worst ball I’ve ever seen’ and decided to wield his bat on any object around the ground (bench, scoreboard, kitbag, goal post, fence) before disappearing in to the changing rooms.
Father and son, Thomas came to the crease (Junior will no doubt be hitting us all over the park once he reaches puberty in a few years) but for now the run rate was clawed back so that in the end a straight 6 runs an over target of 240 came as a relief – some feared 300 was on the cards at one stage.
The full Teas Committee was in attendance for the first time and collectively rolled their sleeves up ready for a thorough review but they were shocked to find Tea was just that – a mug of tea and a few biscuits. Where’s John was mortified and immediately set off looking for a chippy to get some fish & chips asap.
As the sun appeared, Dewie and White Viv went out to open the LSSC innings. At this point, we found out that Psycho’s victim was their opening fast bowler and his team spent much time reminding him of his innings – the impact of which meant they had every fielder between square leg and point in a cordon reminiscent of Clive Lloyds’ West Indies. Undeterred our openers built an excellent partnership of 46 at around 5 an over picking off runs from ‘Mouse’ the other opening bowler in particular. As often happens, Mouse made the breakthrough when Dewie was out LBW with Trigger Dunn deciding the ball would have hit middle after hitting Dewie in the box. Wath came out and secured a bronze duck with a trademark shot – later in the bar, he realized that a pattern is emerging from his season where if he gets drunk the night before a game, he tends not to score a run the next day. Holden finally claimed his victim by skittling the Towel with a snorter, I am told, but with plenty of batting still to come the target still looked plausible.
That is until Eaton came on to bowl, the veteran spinner has hurt us before and did so again. Getting Damian out LBW at the end of an over and then removing White Viv (excellent knock of 26) first ball of his next bringing Pearce to the crease to face the hat-trick ball and who was promptly out for a Golden Duck. See Champagne moment.
Gavin was unluckily out to a ball that stopped on him and this brought form partnership Hilda and DT together with the score 90-7. Some tasty boundaries and running between the wicket once again moved the score on to 132 before Hilda was miraculously caught and bowled having hit the ball a good 30 yards back over the bowler but the youngster managed to turn round, cover the distance and take a juggling catch over his shoulder. Even LSSC players would have struggled with that one.
Speedtwin and DT then continued to score healthily with some excellent boundaries and our first fat boy 3 of the year when Gary’s Chinese cut allowed DT to nearly tag him on his 2nd run. Imagine our disappointment to then find Gary’s fitness regime actually meant Trev doesn’t have him as one of the fat boys this year! Gary stood firm after this surprise score but DT was down and out for a few minutes recovering from the shock. This no doubt explained his relief and broad smile as he walked off after being bowled the next over.
The writing was on the wall and even with an extended batting line up, pride was all that now mattered. Dunn was run out (again), Psycho was out for a duck to great celebrations for getting a ‘five for’ the season but was called back by the bowler as Gary hadn’t touched the ball (White Viv had given him out however) and scored his required 3 runs to reach 500 lifetime for the club. Keenan showed what his potential could be if entrusted to a higher position notching 2 runs before Loomes went out to bat last man and promptly won the champagne moment.
Psycho was last man out to Wirrell who not content with having scored 86 against us, taking a catch behind the stumps when ‘keeping and then another when in the outfield was brought on to bowl and took our last wicket with his first ball. He’s next off to play for the England under-17 hockey team…
A fish and chip supper, beers and shandies, pub quiz won in controversial circumstances by the team of DT (‘we’ve got all 5 right’), Hilda, Jones and Pearce meant an excellent evening was had by one and all.
His lordship may live to regret his voicing his desire to be given a chance up the batting order to ‘build an innings for once’ as opposed to being a tail-end Charlie having to slog the boundaries and therefore not being able to play a proper innings – DT in Jim’ll Fix It mode confirmed this wish is now set to be granted with Steve given the key number 3 slot in the upcoming tour.
It was also decided that the years prizes – duck trophy, champagne moment and player of the year should all be left until after the Scotland tour and means all three are now still up for grabs.
Incidentally per Google, Karate means Empty Hand, not empty fist or open hand for those still embroiled in the quiz result…...
Man of the Match: I thought our batting openers, Dewie and Jonesie performed really well but it goes to DT for top-scoring, taking 2 wickets and most importantly surviving (just) a wanabee fat-boy 3.
Some have commented that not bringing himself on to bowl until the score was 170-odd was an unusual decision but we should no better than question El Duce and his Art of Captaincy so I won’t here for fear of reprisal.
Champagne Moment: As usual many contenders and I nearly gave it to myself for my Golden Duck – I was clearly determined not to do anything silly facing a hat-trick ball or maybe still reeling from the lack of a Tea or perhaps just astonished to see a spinner who actually pitches a ball and turns it, I stood transfixed as a slow looper pitched on a length, turned slightly and hit middle stump with my bat still primed and unmoved up in the air (a la Goochie). Cue mass hysteria on the sidelines from my sympathetic team-mates, my adopting a double tea-pot pose (a la Gower Keenan vs. Feathers years ago) and the slow walk back to the changing rooms contemplating another game where having driven 150 miles, a golden duck was achieved (still it’s better than the last drive where I got a diamond duck – progress!)
There’s also Psycho’s 5-for ducks which so nearly came to fruition; the Ex-blues fielder on seeing our current number 3 bat, Wath, coming out to bat and saying ‘get someone in cow corner’ or Dewi’s impersonation of Cronin chasing down a ball dribbling to the boundary, giving it up as gone and stopping running, then realizing it might not go and speeding up and then appearing to think ‘sod it’ and kicking it over the ropes anyway just to make sure. DT’s sage advice to ‘watch for the single’ on the last ball of Ex-blues innings caused a ripple or someone’s comment on watching Clive Dunn and Keenan running between the wicket (pre run-out), ‘Tony looks like he’s using the bat as a walking stick.’
Afterwards Jonesie in the bar when looking at the reams of DT’s stats, on seeing Psycho needed 12 runs to get his 500 for the club pointed this out to him as he’d only scored 3. It was then explained Gary had needed 12 runs all season not just that game!! (This DT stat is disputed by Gary incidentally).
The winner though is Where’s John striding out to bat as our last man with our words of encouragement that we could still win the game ringing in his ears, he reached the crease, bent right down in his familiar posture in front of his stumps, his bat looking tiny in his hands and he looked up to face his first ball. At this point, something appeared wrong to onlookers - why was Gary Burrell also taking guard at the other end? Why was the umpire standing behind John? Why was the wicketkeeper standing behind Gary and why was the bowler running in next to John?
John was at the non-strikers end and wasn’t facing but had taken guard anyway.
Tiger Pearce
Additional Champagne moment - The well oiled bunch of athletes made their way back to Central London on the late night train. Amidst the tradional toasting of the season, Gavin 'Scarecrow' Van Marle's mobile rang. It was his beloved on the other end and the brief conversation went something like this-
GVM: 'Hello Darling. Yes we had a great day, enjoyable match followed by a few beers and a fish and chip supper'.
Mrs Van Marle: 'Happy Anniversary'!
At which point the phone went dead and Gavin's face went as white as a sheet.
Scorecard (Ex-Blues won the toss and elected to bat).
Hickey 69 Bowled Pearce, Ct Loomes
Wirrell 86 Bowled Thomas
Thomas A 31 Not out
Painter 5 LBW Thomas
Holden 10 Bowled Burrell
Thomas S 8 Not out
Extras 21
LSSC bowling
Keenan 5-0-30-0
Berkeley 5-0-20-0
Grimes 5-0-24-0
Loomes 5-0-26-0
Van Marle 3-0-25-0
Pearce 3-0-39-1
Thomas 5-1-14-2
Burrell 5-0-22-1
Griffiths 2-0-3-0
Wathan 2-0-9-0
LSSC innings
Dewhirst 20 LBW Ryder
Jones 26 Bowled Eaton, Ct Wirrell
Wathan 0 Bowled Ryder (Bronze Duck)
Griffiths 7 Bowed Holden
Chalmers 10 LBW Eaton
Van Marle 5 Ct & Bowled Thomas
Pearce 0 Bowled Eaton (Golden Duck, hat-trick)
Thomas 32 Bowled Painter
Berkeley 23 Ct & Bowled Painter
Speedtwin 13 Bowled Painter
Grimes 10 Run out
Keenan 2 Bowled Painter, Ct Wirrell
Burrell 3 Bowled Wirrell
Loomes 4 Not out
Extras 23 N/b 4, Wides 9, LB 3, Byes 7
Ex-Blues Bowling
Holden 8-2-16-1
Ryder 8-0-52-2
Eaton 8-1-33-3
Thomas A 4-1-25-1
Painter 6-1-34-4
Dilley 2-0-5-0
Wirrell 0.1-0-0-1
